Choices
by miss atari
Summary: Roxas is left trying to figure out his future without Axel by replacing him with Riku.  past AR and AS; present Riku/Roxas


): I was in a mood and this was created. I just started writing and it turned into something that I hadn't meant for it to be, but I like it nonetheless.

Enjoy.

* * *

_"Tell me that you need me 'cause I love you so much."_

* * *

Roxas could remember the look on Axel's face as he ripped through their small one bedroom apartment in search for his wallet, cell phone and car keys. His normally sparkling eyes were full of anger, and his words cut Roxas like a knife. Axel glared at him as he shoved what little belongings he was taking into his pockets, grabbed his coat and made his way towards the door, intent on not returning to his boyfriend sobbing against the back of the couch.

"Don't try to fucking reach me," Axel spat, opening the door with enough force to pull it from the hinges. "I'll be too busy fucking your brother."

Roxas stared at his retreating form through wet eyes, unable to speak, but wanting to call out to Axel and beg him not to leave because _he still loved him and he didn't care if he wanted to fuck his brother, as long as they stayed together_.

Things were always better when they were together, even after everything they'd been through the last couple months. Roxas looked at their current misfortunes as a blessing—something that would make their reunion more perfect after all had been said and done. He never thought that it would lead to Axel walking out on him in favour of being with Sora, especially after Axel proposed not even a week earlier. And to think, Roxas was almost certain that things were beginning to look up for them.

"Don't go," he cried, curling his body around a pillow he'd recently taken to using as a replacement for Axel.

* * *

_"Tell me that you love me 'cause I need you so much."_

* * *

It had been a year since Roxas saw Axel last, and it had been ten months since he told Sora to get out of his life.

They tried to get along for the sake of their family, but it didn't work and for good reason too. How could anyone expect Roxas to have the same relationship with his twin after he had stolen his high school sweetheart right from under his nose? Their mother couldn't grasp the reason why they began feuding, claiming that family should always stick together no matter the circumstances, but Roxas didn't see things that way. It created a huge argument within the Strife household, and thankfully Axel hadn't been there to witness his ex-fiancé call his current flame anything but the person he'd always been considered. Sora wasn't the innocent baby-faced angel that everyone portrayed him out to be. Oh no, on the contrary, he was a whore—a boyfriend stealing piece of shit.

That had been the last time he'd seen Sora or his family, as he packed his things up the moment he stepped foot into his lonely one bedroom apartment and moved halfway across the world in the span of two days. So long Destiny Island and hello Twilight Town. Roxas hoped for a brighter future; one without complications and perhaps a better boyfriend than his previous. One day, at least.

"Earth to Roxas." a voice said, followed by a light poke on his side.

"Wha—" he jumped, startled and completely puzzled. "Shit, Riku. Don't do that."

"You were spacing again," the boy, Riku, told him. "It's starting to worry me. You okay?"

Roxas smiled softly, rubbing the back of his neck in that nervous kind of way when one doesn't want to explain themselves. Of course he was okay; it was only the worst time of the year for him, but that didn't mean anything. Why would the day that had been both the best(and worst) day of his life matter to him?

"I'm fine," he said, trying to convince himself and Riku.

"You want to go home?" Riku asked, sliding his hand into Roxas' open palm atop the table separating them. "We don't have to be here."

Roxas shook his head and tightened his hold on Riku's hand. "It's fine, really."

"If you're sure," his current boyfriend said.

Riku knew that something was bothering Roxas, but he wouldn't push it anymore than he already had. They had only known each other a little under nine months, but they had been officially dating three of those and unofficially dating for three, making their relationship six months old. It was still new to them both. So it was only normal that Roxas still had his fair share of secrets, and Riku was fine with that as long as he eventually told him.

They fell into a pleasant silence, listening to utensils clattering against dishes and people asking for their checks. The only communication between the pair was the longing glances that Roxas shot Riku every now and again, his eyes glistening with unshed tears as he pushed back thoughts of a future he always pictured himself in. Riku would, on occasion, smile at him just to see a small glimpse of happiness fill his eyes. Riku hated seeing Roxas so down, but he had vowed not to say anything about how his smile was no longer reflecting in his eyes or how his tone had taken on a stoic change over the course of twenty four hours. It was the little things that he took notice to, and they were things he loved most about his blond lover.

"Roxas," he spoke softly.

"Yeah?" Roxas said, looking up from his empty plate.

"I have a question," Riku told him, trying to keep himself from visibly shaking.

"What's up?" the blond asked.

Riku tensed as he shoved his vacant hand into his pocket, his fingers gliding over a small box resting inside the darkness. They had only known each other for a short amount of time, but to Riku it felt like eternity, so it was only natural that he'd be willing to risk their still forming relationship so that he could pop the question. It all rested with hope, and he hoped that Roxas would say yes.

"I… well, you see." Riku stammered, momentarily losing his control as he looked away from Roxas. It had taken him forever to gather up the courage, he'd be damned if he lost it now.

"No, Riku, I don't see." Roxas deadpanned, arching an eyebrow. "Enlighten me?"

"Roxas," he said softly; his lover's name slipping off his tongue like velvet. "I love you."

"I love you too," the blond smiled, chuckling at Riku's antics over telling him a simple confession that he'd heard since before they made things official.

Riku shook his head, silver hair falling into his face. "No, you don't get it. I love you."

"I understand that." Roxas said, watching as Riku moved languidly from his seat to the floor, a hand seemingly stuck in his right pocket. Blue eyes grew wide and butterflies filled his stomach. Apparently he didn't understand.

"Rox, I know we haven't been together long, but—" he paused, collecting himself and pulling out the box, clumsily opening it. "I feel like I've known you forever, and if you'll have me, I'd like to make it that way. Roxas, will you marry me?"

Roxas couldn't speak; tears escaped through the corners of his eyes. The butterflies in his stomach fluttered harshly, and he felt like he was going to faint. This wasn't happening—he was not being asked the same question on the same night. It was just... no.

The silence began to gnaw at Riku's heart as he stared up into Roxas' face, searching for something he wasn't sure he would find. He could feel his heart tighten and twist, afraid of the rejection he knew would follow the minute Roxas opened his mouth. It felt like hours before Roxas finally moved, but in reality it had merely been a few minutes. Riku had to hold his ground for the refusal, he had to—

"Yes," Roxas whispered.

"W-what?" Riku asked, shocked.

Roxas allowed himself a moment to slid into the floor, his knees getting dirty as he sat in front of Riku with a smile that touched his eyes. "Yes, I'll make it forever."

Riku was positively radiant as he gently took the ring from the small black box and slipped it onto Roxas' ring finger. He wound his arms around Roxas and pulled him close, letting a round of joyful tears betray him as he held his boyfriend—scratch that, fiancé—tightly against his chest.

"I love you, Roxas Strife." he whispered tenderly, pulling back enough to place his lips on Roxas' for a chaste kiss.

They had been so lost in their own world that they failed to realize that the people seated near them were clapping and offering congratulations. It was Roxas that first took notice, and he blushed profusely when he did, burying his face against Riku's neck in order to hide.

* * *

_"Tell me that you need me 'cause I love you so much."_

* * *

What he didn't notice, however, was Axel sitting in the back booth of the restaurant with his hands sifting through his hair as he watched the love of his life accept another man's proposal. It should be him in that position, albeit trying for a second to right what had gone wrong and lovingly promising Roxas a future that he always wanted. In Axel's mind there was no other man, but in reality there was, and it was his fault that Roxas had been taken from him. Axel knew that he'd lost his chance and it was something he would have to—begrudgingly—live with for the rest of his life.

Axel wished that he hadn't ignored Roxas' pleas that night so long ago when he'd walked—his whimpers of _'don't go, Axel, I love you'_— but he'd been so enraged over Roxas finding out that he didn't want to stay and do something he would regret. Only, he regretted it. Sora never told Roxas that Axel had left him shortly after that night and Sora was never given the opportunity to inform Roxas that Axel had begun searching for him the minute he found out that he had skipped town. Roxas would never know that Axel turned into an absolute mess when he went back to the apartment to find it empty.

Axel had lost him, and he realized this as he watched a foreign arm slip around Roxas' waist as they exited the restaurant. It was Axel's time to beg for Roxas to not go, but it was too late.

* * *

_"Say you'll never leave me 'cause I need you so much."_

* * *

Thoughts? Yes? No?

The italic words are lyrics from the song 'Don't Go' by Bring Me The Horizon, featuring Lights. My current favourite band and favourite singer. The song is about Terry Hurst who was murdered in 2004. So, I dedicate this to him, no matter how irrelevant it may be.

Review, please. Thank you.

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